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  Five years ago today was a very important day in my life. I woke up that morning with a heavy heart. After a year and a half of trying to have children, we were on our last cycle of IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) and were scheduled to begin a very expensive journey into IVF (InVitro Fertilization).

I woke up that morning with the great ache in my heart to have a child of my own and the fear that I'd never be able to have any children.

That weekend we had traveled to Trax Farms with our neighbor.  They had a 2 1/2 year old son at the time. I wrote the following in my journal:
We had the best day. Our neighbors invited us to go with them to a big
farm outside of Pittsburgh (Trax farm) that has corn mazes, pumpkin
patches, petting zoo, basically everything you could think of. Their son is 2 1/2 and was just an absolute JOY to watch. We took a
scenic hay ride and let him play on the pumpkins, pet the animals,
etc. It was so fun. I can't wait to have kids…

I had had what was considered to be a rather unsuccessful month at my fertility clinic. My course of injectable medications (several shots a day in the stomach, ouch) yielded only one "possible" follicle and there was much debate over whether it was a follicle or a cyst. I was convinced it was a cyst.

But then the evening of October 11, just on a whim, I took a pregnancy tet.

And it was positive.

And my life was forever changed.

I try to remember what those days were like, when I was so unsure, so sad, filled with so much longing.  I think it's important to remember, to be thankful for what I now have and to help those out there that are still dealing with the pain of infertility.

A few weeks later, after our first ultrasound, I sent an email to many
friends and family with the title "Do you believe in miracles?" and
attached an ultrasound picture. A former student coincindentally emailed me today to
tell me that she remembers that day and still has that email, that it
really touched her.

Today we made that same journey to Trax Farms.  This time we were there with our two amazing children. As they rode the train and climbed on pumpkins I took a moment to thank God. 

Because I do beleive in miracles.

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