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Archive for the ‘stay at home mom’ Category

  I knew very early on in my graduate school journey that I wanted to teach.  I loved working with people, sharing knowledge and feeling like I had a small role in shaping someone's life.  I also knew that it would be a fabulous career for raising a family (unlike broadcast journalism, what I actually went to school for).  I knew that I could have a flexible schedule, be home early and have summers off, perfect for being a working mom.

The life of a college professor is even more ideal – my summer begins in May and I have several weeks off at Christmas as well. I don't teach on Fridays and often get to spend them with my boys. My schedule this fall will allow me to be done at 2:30 p.m. and get home in time to get Matthew off the bus from Kindergarten.

That said, being a Teacher Mom isn't as easy as I'd always imagined. What I didn't count on was the transition time. The several weeks of early summer when I really have no idea how to do the stay-at-home mom gig.  Where my kids get bored easily, don't get enough sleep, fight and drive me batty and where I wish that I could just go back to work for a few hours.  Those days where I tell anyone who'll listen that working is FAR easier than staying home.  The days when I nearly jump into my husband's arms when he gets home…not to welcome him home but to grab the car keys and run out the door just to get a break.

By the time a couple of weeks has passed we get into a routine, I figure out what works and dosen't work and most of my other 'teacher mom' friends are also off (most are high school teachers so I find myself alone in the 'teacher mom' world from early May to mid-June).

When I first had Ben I took a whole semester and then summer off. That amounted to nine months off. I'd never had this kind of time off in my life, and had never been home with kids 24/7 like that.  I remember thinking it was going to be fabulous. I was in a for a big surprise.

I kept an online journal then (thank god for the Internet, eh?) and this is what I wrote back in January of 2007

I feel like I'm totally failing as a mother right now.  This has been a
ROUGH day.  Matthew's good mood yesterday must have been a fluke,
because he's miserable today..M I S E R A B L E.  
In the first
hour we were up he tasted some dishwasher detergent (stuck his finger
in it just as I was closing the door and then stuck it right in his
mouth), PlayDoh (he eats this on a regular basis) and finger paint
(Crayola, I'm assuming it's non-toxic since it is for kids?).  He's
screamed and cried over wanting to go outside (it's pouring), every
single toy that is either in his way or not working EXACTLY the way he
wants it to, tackled me and subsequently Ben, scratching him on the
face in the process, pulled my hair, pinched me and screamed his head
off when I turned off cartoons.
I've realized that's it's me. He
hates being home with me. I think he misses daycare.  He misses the
other kids and the interaction/learning/teachers/fun.  I can't do all
of that with him and he's miserable. And I'm a failure.
I love them both so much yet I'm failing them.  I can't win. I can't do this.

I luckily had some very supportive friends who lifted me up out of my slump and explained that being a stay-at-home mom didn't mean I had to actually stay at home and it was then that I learned that in order for our little family to work and be happy that I needed to get out and do something every day, usually in the mornings before naps.  Once I started scheduling things my life got a whole lot easier.

But I still struggle with that transition from working to staying at home. I have to admit I even get a little scared/nervous at the thought of having my kids by myself all day for days at a time (I do work some in the summers, so I'm not a 100% stay at home mom).

This year feels like it's going to be a good year, though. The kids are much more independant and can play easily at home without NEEDING to be entertained out and about. We'll still do a lot because, quite frankly, I get bored staying home, but the kids could ride bikes or play in the sandbox for an entire day and they'd be just as happy. 

But it still takes us a while to find our groove. Not just with me and the kids but the kids with each other. They are in separate rooms at daycare, so seeing each other 100% of the day is new to them, too and right now they are celebrating it by fighting over everything and anything all day long. 

We'll find our way, though, and have a fabulous summer together.  And just about the time we get good at it it'll be time to head back to school.  I'll admit, most summers I'm about ready to go back and see my grown up kids/students again by the end of summer.  But this summer I think it's going to be harder than last. And as the kids get older and we have more fun together it's going to keep getting harder and harder to see that summer relationship come to an end.

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  I knew very early on in my graduate school journey that I wanted to teach.  I loved working with people, sharing knowledge and feeling like I had a small role in shaping someone's life.  I also knew that it would be a fabulous career for raising a family (unlike broadcast journalism, what I actually went to school for).  I knew that I could have a flexible schedule, be home early and have summers off, perfect for being a working mom.

The life of a college professor is even more ideal – my summer begins in May and I have several weeks off at Christmas as well. I don't teach on Fridays and often get to spend them with my boys. My schedule this fall will allow me to be done at 2:30 p.m. and get home in time to get Matthew off the bus from Kindergarten.

That said, being a Teacher Mom isn't as easy as I'd always imagined. What I didn't count on was the transition time. The several weeks of early summer when I really have no idea how to do the stay-at-home mom gig.  Where my kids get bored easily, don't get enough sleep, fight and drive me batty and where I wish that I could just go back to work for a few hours.  Those days where I tell anyone who'll listen that working is FAR easier than staying home.  The days when I nearly jump into my husband's arms when he gets home…not to welcome him home but to grab the car keys and run out the door just to get a break.

By the time a couple of weeks has passed we get into a routine, I figure out what works and dosen't work and most of my other 'teacher mom' friends are also off (most are high school teachers so I find myself alone in the 'teacher mom' world from early May to mid-June).

When I first had Ben I took a whole semester and then summer off. That amounted to nine months off. I'd never had this kind of time off in my life, and had never been home with kids 24/7 like that.  I remember thinking it was going to be fabulous. I was in a for a big surprise.

I kept an online journal then (thank god for the Internet, eh?) and this is what I wrote back in January of 2007

I feel like I'm totally failing as a mother right now.  This has been a
ROUGH day.  Matthew's good mood yesterday must have been a fluke,
because he's miserable today..M I S E R A B L E.  
In the first
hour we were up he tasted some dishwasher detergent (stuck his finger
in it just as I was closing the door and then stuck it right in his
mouth), PlayDoh (he eats this on a regular basis) and finger paint
(Crayola, I'm assuming it's non-toxic since it is for kids?).  He's
screamed and cried over wanting to go outside (it's pouring), every
single toy that is either in his way or not working EXACTLY the way he
wants it to, tackled me and subsequently Ben, scratching him on the
face in the process, pulled my hair, pinched me and screamed his head
off when I turned off cartoons.
I've realized that's it's me. He
hates being home with me. I think he misses daycare.  He misses the
other kids and the interaction/learning/teachers/fun.  I can't do all
of that with him and he's miserable. And I'm a failure.
I love them both so much yet I'm failing them.  I can't win. I can't do this.

I luckily had some very supportive friends who lifted me up out of my slump and explained that being a stay-at-home mom didn't mean I had to actually stay at home and it was then that I learned that in order for our little family to work and be happy that I needed to get out and do something every day, usually in the mornings before naps.  Once I started scheduling things my life got a whole lot easier.

But I still struggle with that transition from working to staying at home. I have to admit I even get a little scared/nervous at the thought of having my kids by myself all day for days at a time (I do work some in the summers, so I'm not a 100% stay at home mom).

This year feels like it's going to be a good year, though. The kids are much more independant and can play easily at home without NEEDING to be entertained out and about. We'll still do a lot because, quite frankly, I get bored staying home, but the kids could ride bikes or play in the sandbox for an entire day and they'd be just as happy. 

But it still takes us a while to find our groove. Not just with me and the kids but the kids with each other. They are in separate rooms at daycare, so seeing each other 100% of the day is new to them, too and right now they are celebrating it by fighting over everything and anything all day long. 

We'll find our way, though, and have a fabulous summer together.  And just about the time we get good at it it'll be time to head back to school.  I'll admit, most summers I'm about ready to go back and see my grown up kids/students again by the end of summer.  But this summer I think it's going to be harder than last. And as the kids get older and we have more fun together it's going to keep getting harder and harder to see that summer relationship come to an end.

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